


To Have and to Hold

by ellerean



Category: Free!
Genre: Asexual Relationship, Asexuality, M/M, Rinharu Week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-22
Updated: 2015-11-22
Packaged: 2018-05-02 22:18:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5265758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ellerean/pseuds/ellerean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A beachfront wedding, a romantic honeymoon suite, and their first night together as husbands.</p><p>[RinHaru Week day 1: Firsts]</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Have and to Hold

The suite was too elaborate for Haru’s taste, Rin could tell. It was larger than the whole of his Tokyo apartment, the ceilings and windows higher, and with a separate bedroom. Haru stared up at the carved ceiling, either admiring the handiwork or internally scoffing at how unnecessary it was to decorate a _ceiling_.

“Hey, Haru,” Rin said, poking his head into the bedroom, “check out the Jacuzzi.”

Haru squeezed beside him in the doorway, though there was more than enough room for them both. Warmth crawled up Rin’s back from where Haru placed his hand upon it.

“Nice,” he said softly, his nerves tingling so eagerly that Rin felt it through their suit jackets. The Jacuzzi was set into an elevated platform, with steps leading up to its lip. Rin looked up; there was more than enough clearance overhead to stand upright.

“Go take your shower,” he said, bumping Haru’s hip with his own. The bathroom door was ajar across the room, the white marble tiles a shining beacon within. He could spy a corner of the glass shower that was not a right angle, the shower being some oddity of a shape tucked into the corner. Haru nodded, peeling himself from Rin’s side to cross the room. But he stopped at the bathroom door, head lowered liked he was admiring the gold-inlaid tiles.

“Do you want”—he glanced over his shoulder—“should you come with me?”

Rin chewed his bottom lip. He averted his gaze from the oversized bed he’d been staring at, but looking at Haru’s backside wasn’t much better. “I don’t have to,” he replied, and Haru’s shoulders relaxed. “Take your time, Haru.”

Rin, too, felt gritty from the beach, and though Haru hadn’t outwardly complained he’d fidgeted on the limo ride over. Haru shrugged off his jacket as he crossed into the bathroom; he didn’t close the door behind him. It was either a comfort in Rin’s presence or a habit he’d formed from living alone. Rin waited until he heard this hiss of the showerhead to turn back into the living room.

The suite had a circular couch that took up a good portion of its space, and a kitchenette off to the side. He stood between the two, staring out the tall windows. It wasn’t exactly a beachfront view, but the shore could be seen in the narrow alley between buildings. He didn’t mind, then, that the sand still grated on his skin, that his socks were grainy with it. He smoothed down the front of his white suit jacket, hesitant to remove it. He fingered the pink silk pocket square; he traced the edge of his matching necktie between thumb and forefinger. The gold ring on his finger glinted in the dim lighting. He wondered if Haru showered with his on.

Rin listened to the soft hiss of the shower as he busied himself. He removed his shoes, tapping them against the trash bin to shake out the sand. He checked the fridge, which was pre-stocked with champagne and strawberries. He filled an ice cube tray; he filled a glass of water from the faucet. He sat on the circular couch, facing the window, rapping the underside of his ring on the glass he gripped in both hands. The background noise of the shower ceased, an uncommonly short bathing routine Haru. He gripped harder to the water glass, trying to still his shaking hands. His throat swelled and he tried to swallow, but the tears fell fast and hot on his cheeks instead.

He didn’t acknowledge Haru’s presence when his reflection appeared in the dark window. He stood in the doorway of the bedroom, squinting in the fading sunlight as he sought Rin. The plush, terrycloth robe came to mid-calf, its blinding white a contrast to his damp, dark hair. Rin lowered his head, as if that could hide him, but Haru was hurriedly crossing the room anyway.

“Rin?” Haru plopped beside him on the couch. “Rin! What is it?”

Haru gently pried the glass from his fingers as Rin bit back a sob, then wiped his eyes on the back of his hand. It was streaked with a thick black line, Gou’s idea of prettying up her brother for the occasion. It only made him cry harder, the eyeliner staining his cheeks and dripping off the point of his chin. He widened his legs so the black tears didn’t hit his white suit.

His vision was obstructed by a puff of white, the virgin sleeve of Haru’s bathrobe dabbing at his cheeks. It was a slow, cautious move, dotting the corners of his eyes. Rin couldn’t speak, lest the tears return; he swallowed hard as he watched Haru’s face so close—the upturned eyebrows, the parted lips of his small mouth. Rin forced his arm to move, watching his own hand as it went to Haru’s face, smoothing the crease between his eyebrows with his thumb.

“Rin?” He tried again.

“You...” His thumb trailed down the length of Haru’s nose. “You’re... _here_.” His thumb rested on Haru’s lower lip. “We—”

Rin was silenced when Haru’s lips brushed his cheek. His palm rested on Rin’s silk tie, over his chest, and he leaned his forehead to Rin’s temple. It did little to calm his fluttering heart but, little by little, his pulse slowed. Like Haru imbued his own sense of calm into him, forcing their heartbeats to match. Rin’s lungs filled with clean, pure air, and his chest opened up to that slight pressure against it.

“Go shower,” Haru whispered, like the expansive room wasn’t theirs alone. Rin wasn’t ready to get up but already Haru was standing, clasping his hand, waiting for him to follow. When he looked up, his chest warmed at the small smile that looked down at him. Rin clutched his hand, his knees shaking as he rose. Despite facing each other Rin didn’t lift his head, staring instead at their feet—his in white dress socks, Haru’s bare.

Then, Haru’s hands were on his stomach. They slid up and beneath the jacket, gently peeling it off until it fell back onto the couch. His nimble fingers worked the knot of his tie, and the air hit his exposed throat like ice. Shock waves shuddered through his body, or that could have been Haru’s fingers now working the buttons of his shirt.

Haru hadn’t tied the bathrobe too tightly, and it lazily fell open at the chest. Haru’s partial nudity was a natural state—his chest was often on display—but there was a secrecy in that slight strip of skin, the hint of what lied beneath the bathrobe. He was untucking Rin’s shirt to get at the final few buttons. He unfastened Rin’s belt; his hands rested on Rin’s hipbones.

“Go shower,” he said again, then kissed the corner of Rin's mouth.

 

Rin hardly glanced at the elaborate marble bathroom when he stepped into the glass-doored shower. Haru’s shampoo and soap already occupied the shelf, his loofa dangling from the faucet. The floor was gritty with sand that hadn’t washed away. As he turned on the faucet, he wondered how there was so much sand when they both wore suits. When they’d rinsed their bare feet after the ceremony, before getting into the car. He soaped up a washcloth and rubbed his his skin until it pinked, then scrubbed the residue of salt from his hair. When he turned off the water, he listened to the steady drip of the faucet against the tile floor. He held out his hand palm-up, waiting for the drip of the showerhead to splash the underside of his ring. He heard nothing past the echo of the bathroom, and wondered what Haru was doing.

There was one robe left on the hook, one that fell to his ankles when he pulled it on. It was even warmer than it looked; he wrapped it tight around him, knotting the belt at his waist.

He hadn’t expected Haru to be in the bedroom when he got out. He sat on the edge of the small deck that surrounded the Jacuzzi. He’d filled it up while Rin was showering, though the jets weren’t on; he sat swinging his feet, head craned around to stare at the still water. When he finally looked up he stared directly at Rin, like he knew he’d been standing there all along.

He smiled. “Hi, Rin.”

Rin leaned against the doorframe and crossed his arms. His skin was damp under the bathrobe, his exposed feet cold. “You took the girl’s robe.”

“It wouldn’t fit you.” He sat with his legs spread open, the robe dipping down between his knees. He dipped his fingers into the water behind him. “Come in the water.”

Haru’s chest visibly rose and fell when Rin approached, and he hesitated before looping his fingers through the belt of Haru’s bathrobe. When he tugged him off the ledge, the knot of Haru’s belt came loose. The robe fell open, but Rin didn’t look down at his body—he watched Haru’s face as he peeled back the robe, exposing one smooth shoulder. He closed his eyes as he pressed his lips upon it, leaving a slow trail of kisses to his neck. He paused, reminding himself to breathe, his arms around Haru’s shoulders and lips resting at his pulse.

“Are you okay?” Haru asked.

He rested a hand on the curve of Haru’s pectorals, using him for balance to stand upright. His throat swelled again and he tried to swallow it down, forcing out the words that would ease the concern in Haru’s eyes. His heart was thumping violently against Rin’s palm.

“You married me,” Rin whispered.

The rapid heartbeat steadied at once. Haru smiled, took a step closer. Chest to chest, cheek to cheek, the warmth emanating from his chest. He softly kissed the side of Rin’s face. It tingled from his ear to the back of his neck, crawling down his spine to Haru’s hands at the small of his back.

Haru’s breath warmed his ear. “Come in the water with me.”

Haru discarded what remained of his robe, and it landed soundlessly on the carpet. He unknotted the belt of Rin’s bathrobe, too, as he did his tie, and the robe fell open. His hands were warm on Rin’s waist, his lips soft when they kissed. Rin needed his guidance to walk, to spin around and ascend the three steps into the tub. Haru went in first, taking the steps down until his backside disappeared beneath the water. He settled into a seat, resting his neck back on the Jacuzzi’s lip, and watched. Rin dipped a toe into the water, which was still hot; he waited for his skin to grow accustomed to it.

“Come on,” Haru said, his patience spent.

Rin eased into the water incrementally—to the ankle, then the calf, then the knee. He hissed through his teeth when the hot water reached his groin, but he then sank to his knees and glided closer to Haru.

“You didn’t even put on the jets?” Rin glanced at the array of knobs and buttons.

Haru frowned. “It disturbs the water.”

His knee bumped Haru’s foot; Haru squirmed and slid over, allowing Rin adequate space on the seat. He sat too close, thigh to thigh, as Haru actively tried to ignore his leering smiling. “Let’s put on the jets,” he said, then added a drawn-out, “ _please?_ ”

Haru turned away, but failed to hide the twitch at the corner of his mouth. “If you want.”

The bubbles erupted all at once. Haru looked down, eyes widened in surprise at the sudden roiling water. Rin pecked his cheek before settling back, propping his hands behind his head. Haru sank down to his neck and nuzzled up to him. He held a hand over the water’s surface, watching it sputter and burst, twisting his hand around like he could capture the bubbles. Rin draped an arm across his back.

He stared at the opposite wall. The double doors to the bedroom had been left open, and a hint of the night sky could be seen through the living room windows. The moon was out of sight, but its light still illuminated the room. He stroked Haru’s hair as he watched the slice of window, wondering if anything would pass—a plane, a shooting star. There was nothing but the falling night, the blue-black curtain dotted with the first stars of evening. He kissed the top of Haru’s head, which smelled like his fancy shampoo.

“Rin.” He sat up slowly, careful not to slip on the bottom. “I have condoms”—he paused—“if you want to.”

It was a logical progression: the anticipation following the ceremony, the shy glances on the ride to the honeymoon suite. They had, before. It had been nice, being that close to Haru. Being bound to him. “I don’t care,” Rin finally said. “I’m kinda beat.”

“Okay.”

 _Okay_ —a meaningless word on that impassive face. Rin averted his eyes, looking down at the water and their naked bodies beneath it. He quickly shifted his gaze back up. “Why? Do you want to?”

It was Haru’s turn to look away, watching the steady bubbling of the water. “Not really.”

There were goose bumps on Haru’s upper arms, though the water was still warm. Rin rubbed them with his thumb, drawing slow circles on his wet skin. When Haru moved he thought, for only a moment, that he was done with the Jacuzzi, but instead he slid one leg across Rin’s thigh to prop himself up. They faced each other, Haru straddling his leg, Haru’s hands on the sides of his face and his mouth impossibly close.

Haru’s tongue traced the curve of Rin’s mouth, flicking at the corner before following the line of his lower lip. Rin tilted his head back, eyes fluttering closed, as Haru’s tongue found his and their mouths locked together. Rin inhaled sharply through his nose; Haru pressed closer, his nipples hard against Rin’s pectorals. He gasped when Haru broke away suddenly, panting slightly, soft puffs of air on his mouth.

“It feels the same,” Haru said.

 _Of course it feels the same_ , he wanted to spit back. They hadn’t changed; the way they kissed hadn’t changed. Haru was comfortable sitting on his thigh, and Rin’s arms were locked as usual around his shoulders.

“No it doesn’t,” Rin said. He kissed Haru’s chin, the corner of his mouth, the lips slightly parted in confusion. “It’s so much better, Haru.”

Haru did stand up, then. The water dripped off his body, the bubbles reaching up like the water, too, yearned for him. Haru turned around before Rin could see the smile, like he could hide such a thing, like Rin didn’t know it was there. Rin turned off the jets before following, and the room fell into a sudden silence. By the time he stepped out of the Jacuzzi, his feet squishing on the plush carpeting, Haru already held a towel out for him. He tossed it over Rin’s head, and Rin laughed when the room fell into a downy, white blindness. Haru rubbed his hair, drying him down. He massaged his shoulders with the towel, then worked down his arms and his chest. Rin stood motionless as Haru moved around to the back, sliding the towel down to around his hips. Rin closed his eyes when he reached his backside, then squirmed and held in a giggle as he dried his groin.

He knelt on the floor behind him, hands encircling Rin’s thigh. Rin could see only his fingertips, and the space between them, as he moved the towel down one of Rin’s legs, then the other. When Haru stood again he knotted the towel around Rin’s waist, as if there were any reason for modesty.

“Get over here,” Rin murmured, as he picked his bathrobe off the floor. He tossed it around Haru’s shoulders and he was lost within it, shoulders to his ears like he was cold, mouth and nose covered in the downy terrycloth. He didn’t push his arms through the armholes, standing stock still as Rin knotted the belt. Though he couldn’t see Haru’s mouth he saw his eyes crinkle, and the sparkle within them.

He stroked Haru’s cheek with the backs of his fingers. “I love you.”

Haru tilted his head, melting into the touch. “We’ll be happy together.”

The bed was uncommonly plush when they fell into it. Rin tossed his towel aside; Haru’s bathrobe slipped off when he pulled the blanket over them. The bed was expansive, more than enough space for two, but they squeezed together like they had on Haru’s childhood bed. Like they had in Rin’s dorm room. Like there wasn’t an expanse around them. They curled around each other, arms and legs entwined, seeking each other’s lips. Rin reached up for the electric sconce over the bed, and pulled the thin metal string. Sudden darkness fell over the room, lit only by the trace amount of starlight from the living room windows. Rin kissed his forehead, the bridge of his nose, his cheeks. Haru kissed his jaw, his chin, his lips.

Haru murmured his name, so low that Rin strained to hear it. But it vibrated against his skin, warming his bones, his body melting into the mattress as he turned onto his back. Haru was warm on top of him, almost too warm under the overplush comforter, but Rin pulled him closer and kissed him deeper.

**Author's Note:**

> This is probably the most accurate thing I've written regarding my asexual viewpoint. While fluffy cuddling is always appreciated, we can desire more "intimate" moments as well. I don't know why it took me so long to write it that way.
> 
> ([Here](http://letsswimtogethernanase.tumblr.com/post/133743414128) on tumblr.)


End file.
